Everytime
by ImmortalOddLover
Summary: A small AkaFuri-OS based on the song "Everytime" by Britney Spears. It is angst, beware. Listening to the song while reading it is possible but not a must ;)


Putting a smile on his face he looked at her. She was pretty, very much so. But he guessed every girl in a wedding dress would look absolutely stunning. Her smooth black hair was pinned up and little pearls were put in it. She smiled like she was supposed to be.  
And right beside her was him, the perfection in person. He wore a perfect fitting suit, of course, and his flaming red hair matched the rose he wore as a boutonnière. He stood calm and collected. They really looked like the perfect couple.  
Furihata felt slight pain rise up in his throat. No! He wouldn't cry. He promised. He would smile and cheer on them like every other person in this room. He knew this was going to happen. He knew Seijuro had no choice. But still a small part of his heart wished that he wouldn't say those words and instead would turn around and smile at him. Even if things proceeded smoothly, which they would, the part that involved te red-haired noticing him would be wanted him to notice him. He wanted him to smile at him one last, final time. He wanted some words of recognition for he had come to see him today.  
That would not happen. They were strangers now. They were never supposed to get close to each other in the first place.  
He closed his eyes. His thoughts drifted to the past, to their precious moments together. It was all that was left for him, his memories of their matches, dates, lazy cuddling moments, dreams and plans for their futures. What foolish dreams those had been. He had even imagined once to be the one in the front with Seijuro, to hear those precious, holy words from him, to say "Yes, I do". It was foolish indeed. They should have seen it coming. But they actually did know it from the beginning, right? They just chose to ignore it.  
Did he wish for them to never have met?  
He had asked himself that question many times in the last months. But looking at him standing there right now his answer was „no". He didn't regret anything but their forceful parting. He understood though. He always understood. Society was cruel.  
Would they have been able to make it? Would their love have been strong enough? He wondered.  
After all it had not been. If it had been he wouldn't be here.  
This realization had hurt even more than their parting and standing here right now.  
After their break-up he tried very hard not to let it show. He had gone to university, like every day, had held small talk with his fellow students, like every day, had been at his part-time job, like every day, had been laughing and smiling, like every day. He had done everything like every other day. But his friends still noticed. And when Kuroko finally spoke with him, alone at his home, he broke into pieces. He became sick, cried and screamed into his pillows.  
Still, he forced it off him. He had promised it to Seijuro after all.  
But he wasn't able to keep it up. He had to call in sick and failed important exams. At night he couldn't stop the tears. Everything reminded him of those piercing red eyes, that breath-taking charisma and his too well-known smell. The worst were the dreams though and he had all kinds of them, happy ones, sad ones, nightmares. There were times when he couldn't even remember he dreamed anything, but he still woke up crying nonetheless.  
His friends suggested he should move out of his flat or throw away everything that reminded him of Seijuro but he simply couldn't do that. Was it weak? Was it weak to still love him?  
He would never be the same. He couldn't be. He was broken, a mess. He was nothing without his presence in his life. He needed him. But that couldn't be.  
Determined he looked to the front and started clapping his hands together with the crowd when the couple in front kissed.  
He would never let him now.  
It was good that he was here today, it was finally over. He confidently smiled.  
Furihata didn't even notice the tears running down his cheeks.  
Perhaps time would heal his wounds.

It didn't take him any effort to keep smiling at her. He didn't look at her, after all. He knew this was not respectful towards her. But she knew. They talked it through. Not everything though. He kept the visions to himself. He couldn't bare it if someone took them away from him. They were the only thing that kept him focused. They started a week or two after their parting. It simply made things easier if the imagined him by his side. No one needed to know that he saw a ghost standing next to him, giving him reassuring hugs and whispering little nothings to him.  
Why did he have to do this? He should have known from the beginning. He knew. They both knew. But they pretended they didn't to move on happily. He always searched for ways around it. He struggled hard against it. But in the end it was unevitable.  
He should have fought more. He should have run away with him. He should have ignored the consequences. Perhaps they should have ended it like Romeo and Juliet. But he couldn't even propose that as a joke. He loved him so much, he wanted him to live. And even if it was without him by his side. And Furihata had seemed so collected, like he had known it all from the beginning. He was proud of him. He sure had become strong. It was funny how everyone thought he was the ground in their relationship when yet he was so weak. After all he couldn't let him go.  
It was pathetic, right? Smiling he looked at the face right next to his bride. His brown eyes looked directly into his own, his lips wore a smile. He was dressed in a suit like him. They had had foolish dreams about it. He was the only reason he could keep on smiling. And no one could take it from him, since he was the only who could see him.  
He had not heard a word from him since their parting. Often he found himself staring at his phone, about to call him. But he never did. How could he? After all he couldn't protect their love. He brought him unhappiness. It would have been too cruel to keep in touch. He could have offered him a secret relationship, his wife would have overlooked it, but he knew Kouki wouldn't want that. He never would. He was too honest for something like that.  
Still, he should have struggled more. He should have spit his father in the face. But he couldn't. He would have killed Kouki. He couldn't bare the thought.  
And after all he always knew it was his family duty.

His lips moved. They said the right words perfectly. He could even put in some feelings.  
After all in a corner of his mind, he said them to him.  
Would he ever be able to keep on without him? He tried. It nearly shattered him. Still he tried every night, when no one could see him break down. He was supposed to be strong after all.  
Maybe someday.  
After all the saying went: „Time is able to heal all your wounds".

It wasn't until after the ceremony, when they made their way to the outside smiling and politely waving, as expected when he finally really saw him.

Their eyes met for a second.

They turned away from each other.

But they could hear each other's voice in their hearts. Saying the final words of „Good-bye, Love".

I hope you liked it.

Writing it broke my heart. Just that you know.

But I heard the song and simply could not resist.


End file.
